time is flying too fast. (as if saying that it is flying is not fast enough)

today i woke up with a start--what day is it? am i late? late for what????
stupid paranoia.
the only days i have to wake up early are saturday (to teach piano) and sunday (for church). which, you can say, is slightly ironic cos usually people sleep in during weekends but crawl out of bed in the wee hours on weekdays.
anyway.
it took me very super long to realise it was a thursday. while it IS a relief (means i'm not late for anything) it brought a whole wave of "already???" along with it. last i knew it was saturday and we were learning new steps for our dance perf and now it's thursday already?? unbelievable.

i've had a wave of inspiration after watching Nodame Cantabile, the live-action adaptation of a manga of the same name. alright. i'm not good at all this manga thing, was never a fan, but a friend burned the series for me (along with the songs, too) and WOW. a few key points. 1. it's not manga comic, but real-life acting 2. the main characters (Nodame[Ueno Juri] and Chiaki[Tamaki Hiroshi]) are endearing and the guy is drool-worthy 3. i love the classical music 4. it gives realistic perspectives of things 5. it's funny la.

(just to digress slightly, my mum thinks that i've been watching rubbish on my com for the past nights, when i'm actually getting inspired by all that music playing, to the point where she is not on speaking terms with me. there.)

about the wave of inspiration. i have my chopin's ballade no.3 op 47 sitting somewhere by the tv in my bedroom. it once resided among my trash on my desk. (did i mention i cleared the mess on my now-existent table, though this and the above are unrelated) my super dusty chopin's nocturnes and preludes are sitting next to my desk at this moment. i'm not sure why i pulled these out, but anyway i was flipping through and found the 'raindrops' prelude in d flat that i played long ago. the date marked indicated year 2000. good grief. then i remembered once when the class was in sherwin's house for bai nian, i had the tune ringing in my head but couldn't remember what it was called. so i played it and asked him to get back to me. i'm really that bad at song names.

and so that's what happened to my viva voce. ohhhhhhhhhhh.

i'm toying with thoughts about having piano lessons again, but let's just keep it that way first. my mum is not to know; i can just imagine her getting all flurried and excited and keep bugging me to practise and ugh. no way. clara had suggested lessons from her teacher some weeks back, some pianist i've never heard of but who flies around giving performances, but i've just kept it at the back of my head.

one thing's for sure: if i ever step back on this path, i'm doing it for me.

and for God, because all this while i've been wondering what to do with this thing my fingers and ears can do. it's not absolutely brilliant, but it's something that my mum keeps telling me is going to waste.

if somehow i manage to crawl back, boy am i gonna run.

that's good, you say. but, run where??? all over the world performing? over-ambitious. stuck at home being a piano teacher? probable. but. huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (this is supposed to be high-pitched. i can demo to you if you request it in person.) totally unappealing.

and so i pop my own bubble and return to earth.

hello earth. it's dark all over, seems to be night time huh. okay. bedtime!

oh crap.


it's friday already. ughhhhhhhhhhhh!